Holy Club 22

Do I disobey God in anything?

I've found it true for some time, that when I find myself having sleepless nights or waking extra early, it's because there's some way I've been disobedient to God - usually not doing something I should have done. 

Its scary how often I've wasted more energy putting something off than it eventually took to get it done. I'd like to think I've got better, but I'm not sure it's true.

I've also noticed that when I'm being disobedient to God I become defensive and irritable.

The theory is easy - become obedient - if only the practice was as easy.

One of the keys to transformation is experiencing God - when his presence becomes overwhelming, our ability to put things off and justify ourselves disappears in a second.

This brings us back to the practice of the Holy Club of seeking religious experience - demonstrated in their love of mystic writers. Just this week I was reminded that some of the opponents of the early Methodists accused them of 'Papism' and 'Ignatianism' - because like Ignatius of Loyola, they understood the importance of religious experience.

When we embrace religious experience, it makes us much more attractive to those who are 'spiritual but not religious'.

It is also important for Christians of a certain age who may have become 'weary in welding'.

In Holy Club 12, we quoted Elaine Heath in the Mystical Way of Evangelism - The decline of the church in the United States is best understood as a corporate dark night of the soul.The night is initiated by God and could lead the church to a new and vibrant life. (page 20)

For some of us, the 'dark night of the soul' is a symptom of spiritual exhaustion having given our lives serving a church in decline. We become so exhausted we even begin to doubt the faith we've held on to for many years. We're saddened to realise that Churches are not good places to talk about doubt - it makes people wrestling with same feelings angry and resentful. If we admit a little doubt, all our faith might be destroyed so we desperately deny our doubts.

The only solution to this kind of doubt is a profound experience of God and the security that comes from experiencing his love surrounding us. We achieve that by admitting our doubts and bringing them to Jesus not by ignoring them in the hope that they'll go away.

Bible Passage to meditate on: Psalm 139:1-18